Rebel Without a Clock

Well, it was just so fortunate to find an image of a James Dean clock! Talk about synchronicity!

I'd like to take some time to talk about time...

For years, I was a rebel without a "Clock" or watch. Or really, without a routine. Clocks, watches, routines, all that stuff was just 'the 'man' keepin' me down." I'll show them. (I'm not sure who "them" is. Uh, who them are? Wow, that's a tricky one.)

I did feel that I was "rebelling" against something by not having routines. That I somehow was exerting my independence and freedom by doing this. Right...

Exerting my freedom to be always late for things...

Exerting my independence to make others wait for me...

Exerting my freedom and independence never to have enough time to do what I really wanted to do. Gee that's ironic. My rebellion against constructed time was keeping me from doing things?

Now, please remember, I am not perfect now. But I have changed some of my ways, my attitudes and my way of seeing things. My perceptions of time and routine. It's unfortunate that the word routine sounds so, well, routine. Like mundane.

A routine life does not sound like an exciting one.

But that's the thing. Life does not have to be routine or mundane. There are mundane things in life that need to be taken care of. And once they are....then let the excitement commence!

(And you can always interject some excitement even into the mundane, right? Try grocery shopping in a prom dress or watering the lawn in a ballet tutu. And of course you can always vacuum au natural--just keep the curtains closed or you might find getting thrown in the pokey part of your new routine!)

So, what are the mundane things in life?

Well, the usual suspects that keep us going: food and shelter. Grocery shopping, food preparation and keeping the housework up. (Keeping the housework up is not quite as important as feeding yourself, let's just get that straight. Food is first.)

Yes, you need to support your fun stuff by building a firm foundation. If you are fed, you have energy to do laundry. If you have clean clothes, you can get dressed and go to work to earn money to feed yourself. If you can earn money you can afford that roof over your head and the food in your tummy. Yes, it's quite the connected circle.

Now while I try, I know I can't solve all organizing issues in one blog. I just want to get you moving in a direction. Even if it's just to change your perception of something.

Let's take meal planning.

I have found that if some external structure is imposed on me, I do very well at meal planning and grocery shopping. If some scheduled activity lands me near the grocery store, then that's my day to do grocery shopping. When my DD was a just a toddler, the library held story-time on Wednesdays. Lovely, since the grocery store was just down the block. Wednesday became my grocery day. I cursed the library when they stopped story-time for the summer. (Damn those under-funded public institutions!) Yes, we did still manage to eat in the summer, but I had to look for another time structure.

Fast forward to when DD is in ballet class, held even closer to the grocery store, and she is now old enough to be left at class. Woo-hoo, a whole 45 minutes to run and do the grocery shopping! (Or nap in the car if really needed...)

What this structure does is remind me that, yes, I should do the meal planning the day or evening before, or at least while I am eating breakfast that morning. I sit with my giant family calendar and check our activities for each day that week and gauge my potential for crankiness each evening. (Should I have a frozen Amy's pizza at the ready or will I have the strength for a full-on stir-fry?) At my fingertips I have my grocery list ready as I mentally (or physically) check my pantry for the needed items. I use the "All Out Of" notepad from Knock Knock, which includes a section for vegetarian items. This is a great magnetic notepad I stick on the fridge. DH can check off things as he runs out (Yeah, it happens once in awhile. The theory is nice.) and I can too.

The wonderful thing about shopping once a week is that I am not tempted to shop more often and therefore waste more time and spend more money. If I know that I am shopping on Monday and we run out of peanut butter on Friday, then, heck, we just try and make it through the weekend without peanut butter, use up something else that is probably about to go bad in the fridge and spend that time doing something more fun. Like napping.

Summer always presents a problem since the lovely structure and routine of the school year is delightfully out of whack. I'm realizing (I am determined to not let summers get the best of me) that I need to re-evaluate the routine every week or every-other week.

Just a little forethought.

A little.

If I don't do a little forethought a week or two at a time, I have to think all the more each and every day and every hour of that silly day. But if the important stuff is planned and on the calendar, then I don't have too think so often. And that's the whole point. Not having to think so much about the mundane things. And having time (and brain power) to think about the fun or creative stuff.

Or take a nap.

That'll show them.

Watch for future blogs about the importance of getting enough sleep. :)

Just say "No!"

Well, actually, don't just say "No!" Say it with style...

Many of my clients have time management issues. Sometimes it's from difficulty with managing the concept of time, but often it's because they have filled their schedules by saying "yes" too many times to too many people.

ADDitude Magazine (a magazine devoted to adults and families living with AD/HD) recently ran a sidebar called "12 Clever Ways to Decline," written by Ramona Creel of Onlineorganizing.com. I'll add my cleverness at the bottom.

12 Clever Ways to Decline

1. I'm in the middle of several projects.
2. I'm not comfortable with that.
3. I'm not taking on any new responsibilities.
4. I'm not the most qualified person for the job.
5. I do not enjoy that kind of work.
6. I do not have any more room in my calendar.
7. I hate to split my attention among projects.
8. I know you will do a wonderful job yourself.
9. I need to leave some free time for myself.
10. I would rather help out with another task.
11. I have no experience with that.
12. I have another commitment.

Personally, I'm a little leery of #10 and #11. Only use #10 if you really want another task, and you're not trying to get out of doing something. And with #11, the other person can too easily come back with "So this is how you would get some experience." That's been used on me! For me, #11 is only good for things like flying an airplane, surgery of any kind, higher math and giving hair cuts.

Here are my additions:

13. Let me check my calendar and get back with you.
This gives you time to decide which "no" you are going to use. You also get to confirm for yourself that your calendar is full. Make sure you have filled your calendar. You know you can fill your calendar with things like "Bubble bath: 6 pm," "Nap: 2-4 pm," "Wash the dog: 11-12 pm," "Play computer solitaire: 7 am -3 pm." I'm serious, be sure to schedule all the fun things you like to do. (Well maybe computer solitaire for 8 hours is a bit extreme.) But it helps you avoid the next excuse...

14. Oh, the last time I did that they had to call the fire department.
Now this is a very specific excuse. Feel free to substitute a more appropriate agency–paramedics, police, park rangers, health inspector, social services, the IRS, Coast Guard, National Guard, Marines etc. Yes, this one does border on the "little white lie." (I hope.) But it gets the other party to say no, not you!

So, if you think you would have trouble using any of these, I suggest practicing. Take the ones you like, put them in your own words, stand in front of a mirror and repeat them until they roll off your tongue. Call it a fire drill if you like. When the time comes to use one, it will be right there for you, sound natural (do give a short pause first and look like you are mentally checking your calendar) and get the job done. The job is to avoid a job you don't have time for or just don't want to do.

It's been nice "No-ing you!"

Values Clarification

My local organizers group recently held a "mini-conference" and one of the session leaders was Life Coach Pam Austin.

She led us in an exercise that helped us realize our "Core Values" and how once these are clear to us, our priorities are more clear and all decisions we make or actions we take will be based on these, helping us to reach our goals in life. (Quite a condensation of a 2 1/2 hour-long session!)

I found this exercise useful for my very next client, and really, I can see its value for almost every client I come in contact with. It's really where it all starts with organizing or changing habits in order to change the mess or clutter that infiltrates your home or even your social or work calendar. (Remember, people can be clutter, too!) It's a nice reminder for us about what really important, and for some a real clarification we didn't even know we needed. But when you start living your values more intentionally, you start reaching your goals and feeling satisfied on a daily basis, instead of always "waiting" for things to happen or your goals to be met. (Yes, values, like goals can change over time.)

While doing some research on this topic, I found a website/blog that helps you do this on your own. (Of course, I'd recommend going to Pam if you are in the Sonoma County area. 707-544-2348)

But Steve Pavlina has a similar approach in an easy-to-follow method. Click here to begin "Living Your Values, Part I."

And yes, he has a Part II.

If you try it out, let me know how it worked for you and what you think of it.

Happy clarifying!

Wrestling the paper tiger

It's everywhere. And they promised us a few years ago we would be a "paperless" society! Yeah right!

Here are a few quick tips about paper...

Don't let it in the house.

• If you see a flyer for something while you are out, ask yourself if you really need the information or if you can look at it online later.
  
• If you pick up your mail at the post office, take one minute to sort, purge and recycle it right there. Even all the envelopes. They usually have a recycle bin. Ask them to get one if they don't.

Recycle right away at home.

• Have your recycle bin convenient to where you walk into the house with the mail. Stand (or sit) there and go through it right away, getting rid of all the junk and envelopes.
• Have a bin or basket to then put all your mail in if you are not able to sort right away. Let everyone in the house know this is where to put the mail. (Fewer lost bills this way.)

More later on how to sort all the stuff and then take action on what needs action. (At the very least, have one folder that says "bills" and throw them in there.)

Days of Weeds and Roses

The Roses of Success (from Chitty Chitty Bang! Bang!)

Every bursted bubble has a glory!
Each abysmal failure makes a point!

Every glowing path that goes astray,
Shows you how to find a better way.

So every time you stumble never grumble.
Next time you'll bumble even less!

For up from the ashes,
up from the ashes, grow the roses of success!
Grow the roses!
Grow the roses!
From the ashes of disaster grow the roses of success!

Spring has come and gone in my neck of the woods. The plum trees are sprouting green plums and the weeds are cropping up in the decomposed granite pathway we put in last summer. (The one I was guaranteed could not be penetrated if weedcloth was underlain—it was—and could not germinate a newly fallen seed.)

As I weeded this path and the beds around it, I began to think of the similarities between gardening and organizing. (And by the way, gardening is a wonderful activity to help you restore focus and increase the capacity of your pre-frontal cortex, helping you to make decisions.)

I thought about last spring when I was hand-pulling weeds from a dense patch in our backyard. California poppies and Miner’s Lettuce (aka Indian Lettuce) were sprouting up between the weeds. Miner’s Lettuce is a lovely native spring salad green that pops up for free in my yard. I wished to save both these species and rid myself of all the other nasty things.

I kept thinking about how this was so much like helping a client wade through mountains of “stuff,” carefully separating treasures from the junk—the weeds from the wildflowers. And how even the wildflowers were creating shelter from the sun (giving comfort to the enemy in my view) for the evil weeds underneath. I had to be extra-careful in my weeding.

This is often true in a client’s home. All the “good stuff” is just creating more hiding spaces for junk, creating more surfaces for dust, and creating shelter for spiders and other crawlies as well. Just as my lovely poppies and lettuce were growing tall, the untended growth beneath of burr clover and other nasties were taking hold, shielded from the hot sun and given a few extra drops of water from their taller, unwitting benefactors. And now and then, I have to sacrifice a "treasure" (a poppy or Miner's Lettuce) in order to get to the "trash" and keep the work going.

We call this section of our yard “The back 40,” not because it is 40 acres, it’s just the last bit we’re trying to landscape ourselves and it seems like 40 acres. It feels overwhelming at times, and the weeds grow back every year. True, there are fewer and fewer each year since we get a little more covered by weed cloth and bark or pathway. But there’s always more. Yet, I know that if I take it on a little at a time—even just get to a few feet of path, I will make headway. And when the weather turns too warm, I will adjust my weeding to the morning hours before the sun beats upon me and wilts me more quickly than the lettuce.

This is the same advice I give clients—if it all seems overwhelming, just take your time and do a little bit every day, even if it just a square foot. Work when you are at your best—be it in the morning or midnight. Know yourself and your own peak times...before you wilt, too.

Garden of Intention
Right now, I am still reacting to what my garden brings me—namely, weeds in new places. I haven’t planted much, i.e. not much has been intentional. Well, we have had some work done, and we accomplished a few projects last summer, but we are still “reacting” to the weeds, and having to re-work areas that if we had finished sooner, we wouldn’t have to deal with weeds (or as many) this year. But again, bit by bit. Little by little. Patience and more “intention” to what we do in the garden. “Own” more if it rather than it owning us. Still allowing for nature’s surprises here and there.

Now go grow your roses!