Organizing is like a bowl of oatmeal

This post is something akin to
"Life is like a box of chocolates."

Let me explain...

My husband eats a bowl of oatmeal almost every day. However, he rarely finishes it before he leaves for work and he finishes it on the way. That means the bowl sits in his car all day before he gets home and sets it in the sink.

You know what that bowl is like 10 hours later, right? The difference between dried oatmeal and superglue is minuscule at this point. That bowl has got to soak for hours in water before it can be cleaned (by hand). There's no point in putting it in the dishwasher, which seems to only multiply the superglue effect of dried oatmeal.

My point here around organizing is this: it's often much easier to get to (and complete) a project or task right away, rather than letting it "ripen."

Those bowls or any other dishes, when newly dirty, are often extremely easy to clean. A moment of swishing a bowl with water and a scrubber will clean them well enough to set in the dishwasher for a thorough cleaning and sterilizing.

However, if you let dishes sit to dry and harden, it not only takes time to let them soak, but then more water (a precious resource in in drought-prone California), more effort (elbow grease) and more time (scrubbing, soaking) to get an item clean. What might have taken seconds and very little water, is taking minutes and gallons of water and energy just because you didn't rinse an item right away.

Now, is this an essay about the rewards of doing your dishes right away? (Yes and no.) For some of my clients, creating a habit of cleaning the kitchen is something we work on together. But really, I'm looking at the bigger picture here.

What other tasks are you putting off that cost you more in time, effort, energy and possibly money (since time is money)?

I know I've got a couple of overdue library books racking up some fines. (Actual dollars there.)

If I let the laundry go too long, then I suddenly have several loads to wash, dry, fold and put away. (And in the same vein, if I let the laundry sit in the dryer too long, I then have a load of wrinkled clothes that will now cost me time (and electricity...$) to iron.

If I don't open my mail and put all the bills in the "bills to pay" folder, I might miss a bill, have to pay a late fee ($) and possibly harm my credit.

If you can nip anything in the bud, then you will keep it from overtaking you and putting you in "overwhelm." Often, "overwhelm" isn't because we have so many things coming at us (well, for some people it is), but it's because we've let so many things get away from us and they become wild and unruly like spoiled children. Kids don't come out of the birth canal spoiled. Parents that have neglected to set rules and boundaries create spoiled children. Omissions rather than an actual act of trying to spoil kids. A lot like our omissions of not getting to tasks.

(In truth, a child does come out of the womb spoiled. They have had everything they have ever needed fed to them through a tube or encased around them. Heck, they haven't even had to chew and swallow. And I do believe we should "spoil" them for quite awhile after they enter the world with all that they need: food, sleep, clean clothes and diapers and love and attention. At some point, though, gentle boundaries are taught and they begin to assimilate into a world with other beings. But I think I have digressed a tad...)

All I am saying is this...the next time you are about to procrastinate on a task, think down the line a little. How long will it take right now versus how long it will take tomorrow or next week? Is there a price to pay? The price you pay may be in dollars, time, effort, another person's hurt feelings, your reputation or your credit score!

What's it worth?

Oh, and those oatmeal bowls? I think I'll encourage DH to eat toast...

NSGCD Conference

Wow, what a great time I am having at the annual conference of the  National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization!

Some highlights

• My Level III student, Janine Adams, received her CPO-CD® pin! Whoo-hoo! If you need a PO (professional organizer) in the St. Louis area, give her a call!
  
  
• And since she earned her Level III, I earned my Level IV! (Thank you Janine for making it SO easy!) You can guess what Level is next, huh?
  
  
• The NSGCD will be changing its name! The committee has been formed, but no new name yet. We've outgrown the name--we are international now (we just signed an agreement with both the Australasian Association Professional Organizers) and Nederlandse Beroepsvereniging van Professional Organizers (The Netherlands).  And we are no longer just a study group--we are doing some research...and we also have subscribers (fancy way of saying members) who are in related fields like psychology.
  
  
• Dr. Daniel Amen spoke--always such great info on the brain. I've read a couple of his books as well as watched his PBS specials. Very entertaining and charming in person, too. He previewed for us his script of his next PBS special based on his next book Change Your Brain, Change Your Body, in which he related his research on the brain to different types of brains and what each person needs to do to help them lose (or gain if they need) weight. He's also doing a study on retired NFL players and dementia...hmmm...can't wait to see that one!
  
  
• Getting to see all the friends I've made all around the country has been very exciting...and making new ones each day. That's called networking, right? But it feels really fun and this is a welcoming, warm, fun (and very smart) group of organizers.
  
  
• Getting to spend time with a very good friend, Kim Anker-Paddon, who abandoned me in Sonoma County to come and live and work in LA, where she is closer to her daughters. She's an extraordinary organizer who specializes in clients with issues like ADD (ADHD), chronic disorganization, and compulsive hoarding. Please call her if you need any help in the LA area!
  
  
• My hotel vegan dinner turned out to be a really lovely polenta (with about 10 cloves of garlic in it) on  a bed of mushrooms and al dente veggies. I was able to request a dessert of berries--raspberries, blueberries, strawberries and a blackberry (there's my brain food, Dr. Amen!) They didn't score so highly with me at lunch. Once again, they just took the chicken off the bed of pasta and gave it to me. At least there were veggies on the side!

Oh...there's so much more, but I've got to go get ready for an early 8 am breakfast. (They had soy milk at the buffet yesterday for the cereal...more vegan brownie points for the Omni Hotel!)

And please forgive my liberal use of exclamation points today...but I am having fun! (oops...)

Margaret

It pays to purge your clothing closet! (Literally)

The closet was getting a little unmanageable. We'd been painting in the bathroom and "things" were piling up in the closet. I knew it was time for a purge...

Purging my closet is a never-ending activity. Well, I shouldn't say that...it's more like an evolving activity. Every six months or so I tell myself I am going to reduce my clothing by half. That's a little extreme, but it's what I go in with. And if I wasn't ready to let go of something six months before, I usually am ready now. Saying good-bye sometimes takes time.

And every six months or so I manage to purge just enough to get all my clothes on hangers and back up IN the closet or folded into a drawer.

I did it again over the weekend. I did use up every last one of my hangers, but I did empty my "seasonal" box and have nothing in it now! (We hardly have seasons here, anyway. It's cold enough most summer afternoons here that I need a jacket, and never so cold in the winter that I can't wear my tank tops under a shirt or jacket. There's very little in my closet that can't be worn all year.

Why do I own three pairs of brown cords? (Because I forgot I already owned two and bought one more.) When they are hanging up next to each other, then I can see how many I own of each type or color. That helps me to remember what I've got when I am out shopping.

Do I really need four pairs of jeans? Well, I decided I needed three. One pair of "grubbies" one pair of "OK to run to the store in" and one pair of "dress" jeans that I need to hem because they must assume all women wear 5-inch heels when they wear dress jeans. (I'm not even short! I'm quite average at 5'5"!) Now it's a little dangerous for me to keep clothing I think I need to alter, since I rarely do it. But these jeans are nice, and I'll give myself a time boundary around how long I keep them if I haven't hemmed them. (By the way, duct tape works in a pinch!)

My happiest moment in the closet this weekend? When I found a $20 bill in a pocket of a pair of pants. Whoo-hoo! Now, I'm thrilled with a $1 bill, ecstatic with a $5 or $10, and "through the roof silly" with a $20. DH was out of town, so Mom and I went to a movie (Julie and Julia) and I happily paid $5 for a bag of popcorn!

Now, aren't you ready to go see how much money is lurking in your closet?

(By the way, I bundled up four bags of clothing and two bags of shoes. I jotted down each item and its condition on a piece of paper that I will staple to the receipt I get at the thrift store. I'll be able to get the most value from my donation at tax time with an itemization like this. "It's Deductible" will help you keep track of it all year and can be imported right into TurboTax.)

A&E Hoarders Episode IV

A quick synopsis...

Jake is a young man (21) who is living with his alcoholic (and verbally abusive) father in an apartment. The father seems seriously depressed and a serious alcoholic who hasn't thrown away a wine bottle in 6 months. His space is almost literally covered in bottles. Jake is suicidal. He seems to have diagnosed OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and cannot throw out anything that ever comes, in, including trash. He fears he will shorten his dog's life if he throws out the fur she sheds. He is an emotional wreck, but has a supportive boyfriend. Therapist Tara Fields is working with him.

Shirley, 71, lives with her husband in squalor in their home. She thinks she has 21-25 cats. She had a stroke and is blind in one eye. Animal control is in on this one and has cited Shirley for having too many animals. There are dogs on the property, too, but it is hard to tell how many. In the end, they pull out over 70 animals, 43 of them live cats. Several must be put down right away due to their ill health and serious disease. A "hoarding specialist" comes in. This person seems to be a junk hauler rather than a trained organizer.

Just a quick comment on this right now.

First of all, these are both very serious situations that are beyond the training of even professional organizers like myself who have been trained by the NSGCD to help clients with hoarding issues.

Jake is a wonderful, intelligent young man with some very serious mental health issues. The fact that he speaks of killing himself numerous times is a giant red flag for me that this man needs a (very well qualified) therapist. He seems to have gotten that in the show. Dr. Fields was gentle and gave him control with gentle nudging and self-awareness of his anxiety levels. He is also living in a situation with his father that is very unhealthy not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. Jake made wonderful strides for letting go of the trash, and he will need long-term support from a professional for him to continue growing. Hopefully his relationships with his mom and boyfriend are healthy and supportive ones which will help him continue his growth and independence (from his stuff, his obsessions and his father).

Shirley's is a case of animal hoarding, which is a completely different level of hoarding than "stuff" hoarding and I don't know if even the "experts" know how to deal with this yet. We saw a lot of denial from Shirley about the problems with the cats--she herself didn't realize how many she had and that so many had died or were sick. That is part of the illness of animal hoarding, is very poor insight into reality. I'm glad to see she wasn't charged or sent to jail. Yes, she neglected animals and kept them in poor conditions. But she wasn't intending to do that and I don't see how jail time would have actually helped her. People who hoard generally have poor insight into their situations, and even when they do realize a change must occur, often cannot make the change on their own--even with the threat of jail or children or spouses leaving or being taken away. It is bigger than they are. It doesn't excuse the situation. It just explains it.

I hope that more people will realize how complicated hoarding is. There are no easy answers. No one-size-fits-all solutions. When I was a park ranger in Yosemite, visitors would often say "Just don't let cars in the Valley, that will solve the over-crowding." Another no-easy-answers problem that (literally) fills volumes with idea for potential solutions.

Watch for more from me in the next few days about the larger problems around finding solutions around hoarding.

And, yes, if you have any ideas, send them my way!

What do YOU think?

Is A&E setting up hoarders for failure?

I'm sure that A&E isn't trying to set up its featured subjects in the Hoarders series for failure.

But they are doing their darndest to make that happen.

Here's what's wrong. (See what's right in my next post.)

1. The subjects don't seem to be getting therapy while they are getting organizing help.
This is necessary for any real change in a person's saving or acquiring habits. Not to mention emotional help with the trauma of loss and the difficulty of change, or any other mental health (or even physical health)conditions they might have.

2. They seem to be only getting help over the course of two days.
This is not how long it takes for real clearing to happen, even with a team. Maybe a bunch of guys with shovels could do it, but that would just be junk-hauling, not helping human beings.

3. They have a "team" of people there ready to help.
The "team" is a bunch of hired hands ready to do manual labor. The team is going to be of no use unless the organizer or therapist has arranged pre-sorted piles for the client to look through and make decisions about. A real team would be a team of professional organizers led by one leader organizer and the client.

4. Family members do not seem to have been briefed on how the process is going to go or what to expect.
The family members just seem to be set up for high expectations and the frustration that ensues is just good camera fodder.

Granted, I have no behind-the-scenes knowledge, so I don't know what is edited out or edited for effect. I can only hope some of these other things are happening, but what I do know is that the whole picture of hoarding is not getting out to the public, nor some of the resources, like the NSGCD, where some of the organizers got their training.